by: Jolene Brown, CSP

Is there something you want to have, do, be, feel or become? If so, who might have successfully walked that journey before you?  Who are your role models? Would someone choose you?

It’s helpful for each of us to have a connection with a role model, if not in real life, then in the realm of realistic visualization. This person might be someone you know or have studied. Someone you admire from afar, or someone with whom you have an up-close personal connection. Above all, this person needs to possess the characteristics and behaviors you’d like to acquire.

Once you define this person, spend some time observing. Then ask yourself, how does she act? Achieve her goals? Communicate? Present herself? What impression does she give for her first impression? Who is in her network of connections? What are her sources for learning? How does she spend her time? It is this juncture of a role model’s behaviors and choices and your needs that lead to a role model that serves you and your causes well.

Next, can you make an actual connection? As you reach out, it is most helpful if you can make a narrow request, one which honors the role model for her experiences and expertise, and one which respects her time.

For example, I often receive requests and E-mails from those in my audiences stating, “I want to do what you do. How do I do it?” I certainly acknowledge those requests and then respond with appropriate comments, including a set of targeted questions. I let them know that once they have replied with written answers, I would be glad to have a conversation with them. This way they must get beyond the emotion of “want” to the commitment and information of their expressed goal.

If you have the opportunity to actually meet with your role model, be prepared to ask your most important questions. Be willing to listen and learn. It’s OK to take notes, and also to be silent for a bit as you process the information. You might ask, “What questions have I not asked that are really important to address?” Watch for cues that your time is up. Be sure to write a thank you note and share what you are currently doing with the information and insight you gained.

There are lots of people in this world willing to share an idea, help with a need, and honor a student. Many times a one-time “connection” can turn into a long-time mentoring relationship. And don’t forget, someone just might need you!

Jolene Brown, CSP

Jolene Brown is farmer, professional speaker, and family business consultant from West Branch, Iowa, USA. Her work has her traveling across North America and countries beyond. Jolene's mission is to nurture the people who feed, clothe and fuel the world. With her fun-filled spirit and valuable information, she brings humor, hope and helpful ideas to the people of agriculture.

www.JoleneBrown.com                                              Jolene@JoleneBrown.com

Copyright © 2009 Jolene Brown. All Rights Reserved 
Reproduction granted for AgStar by Jolene Brown.

In the comment box below, please share your answers and insights to the following questions:

1.  Are you willing to share one of your goals? Do you need specific experience or expertise to help you shorten your journey? Who might be able to help you?
   
2. Think about your experiences and expertise. What do you have to offer other Women in Agriculture?

by: Jolene Brown, CSP

A contract for communications is a critical strategy of all successful family businesses. It defines the how, why, when and where of incorporating this vital management and leadership skill. With a backbone of clarified communication standards in place, the "bloodstream" of the business can flow.

One of the five key parts of the contract taught in my seminars includes the need to act professionally when it comes to the discussion or disclosure of business matters with non-business members. This includes conversations with friends, acquaintances, strangers, non-business family members, coffee shop chatter, facebook and twitter entries and more.

I've found that hands down, one of the best professional communications strategies a family business can adopt is this:  "What is said in this business stays in this business. We will praise in public and correct in private."

After a recent presentation, a young farmer took me to task. She was angry and frustrated at this particular position. She was adamant that "keeping things in the business" is one of the worst things a family can do. I encouraged her to share her story with me because I was truly interested in her position. The next week I received an expose of her opinion. Although she was relating the concepts to "personal issues", the principles still apply. With edits, here are some of her comments.

"…My husband's father told his wife that he wanted a divorce but they didn't have to tell anybody. They are both religious and value their standing in the community intensely. Both care a great deal what other people think. I think this is insanity. "

"…My family got a divorce when I was 15.  My family is a bunch of highly vocal hot-heads. There is no regard for privacy of issues. If you make my dad mad, everybody within ear shot knows precisely what you did wrong. Everything is laid out in all of its gory details."

"…Although both situations resulted in divorce, I believe my family had a better way because the airing of things makes the stress much more intense but much shorter in duration. Those who hold them in the family have much less incentive to tackle those issues."

In my reply, among other things, I shared that the "posting" of a family's negative personal or business issues in public often leads to an escalation of a problem. Each side gathers its "armies" to defend their position to prove they are more right than the other side.  This can create an even bigger problem with long-term wounds that continue to fester as public sources frequently remind them of everything wrong, unfair and unjust.

Hiding things "under a rug" is also not the solution as those behaviors may result in a systemic "infection."  Anger builds, resentment grows, silence increases, helplessness is chosen, alternatives are shut down, problems grow.

Instead, there is a better way. The five parts of the contract for communications carefully spell out many options other than hiding and festering, humiliation and intimidation.  Understanding of the word "correct," is the difference. Correct is a verb, one that includes productive actions.

While correcting issues, it may be necessary to utilize the expertise of trained key advisors, not "the public." AgStar already has these resources in place. Use them to your benefit…and they will benefit your business and your family relationships.

Jolene Brown, CSP

Jolene Brown is farmer, professional speaker, and family business consultant from West Branch, Iowa, USA. Her work has her traveling across North America and countries beyond. Jolene's mission is to nurture the people who feed, clothe and fuel the world. With her fun-filled spirit and valuable information, she brings humor, hope and helpful ideas to the people of agriculture.

www.JoleneBrown.com                                              Jolene@JoleneBrown.com

Copyright © 2009 Jolene Brown. All Rights Reserved 
Reproduction granted for AgStar by Jolene Brown.

In the comment box below, please share your answers and insights to the following questions:

1. What communication standards have you defined as acceptable discussion or disclosure of family business outside of the business team? (This is not referring to general conversations, but rather discussions of correction, problems, improvement and evaluation.)
   

2. Which key advisors might you turn to in order to work through a tough issue?